Trouble With Teens

The reasons why many parents have so much trouble with their teens are:

• Parents want to treat their teenagers like children.  They are emerging adults and need to have increasing privileges and responsibilities.
• Parents sometimes become jealous because they don't have the same influence on their teen as they used to have.  For the first time in their lives, teens are being influenced more by their peers than their parents.
• Teens are pursuing independence.  They are conflicted with the desire to stay connected with their parents and the need to break away and become their own person.

Teens have multiple needs, just as we do...and they will attempt to meet their needs in one of three ways:

1. If they have an "approachable" parent, they will negotiate.  If not, they will...
2. Sneak - Going behind your back and keeping you in the dark about what they are doing, or
3. Rebel - Becoming openly defiant and simply ignoring your instructions or wishes.

Worse, some youth don't get their needs met at all.  I wonder what these teens look like as teens and later as adults.  Which of these was your approach as a teen?

In a future article, I will discuss how to win cooperation with your teenager.